The events that have occurred in the recent past provoked me to write this excerpt of an interview. In the right hands, a pen can cause more catastrophe and damage than a nuclear warhead.
Note: None of the characters in this "interview" are real nor bear semblance to anyone. If you find this offensive, please stop reading, and do send me some hate mails. Assassins would be equally entertaining, but please do send a return address so i can return the favour!
18th July '11, New Delhi:
Our correspondent Chiquita Perez aka Chickie, a former correspondent for a leading news daily, presently a
freelance scribe blogs as a non-entity on popular blogs and tries to expose corruption and treachery rife in Indian politics. Today, Chickie's interviewing a popular member of the Parliament a day after the bomb blasts in Mumbai, and the Lokpal Bill threat looming around the corner. Chickie's meeting Mr.Babubhai, a somebody from someplace who's a part of the ruling party in the country, or atleast claims to be ruling...
Babubhai Kantibhai Chimanlal Patel also known as BP within the party circles, also called "Big Pig" of course behind his back! BP has been a part of the Indian political scenario ever since the fall of monotheistic ruling party culture, and the ascent of coalition ruling. BP has been the CM of Maharashtra and has critical acclaim for development of the island city of Bombay, specially development of housing for the lower income segments. BP has agreed to give this interview, under the condition of anoynymity. This conversation has been recorded "off the fucking record"!
This interview is conducted in a seedy bar near Chandni Chowk
Chickie: Mr.Patel, it's an absolute pleasure to have you with me across the table, engaging in free conversation with me! BP's dressed to appear incognito, read a gaudy pink shirt stretching over an ample hemisphere that's his tummy, wearing heavy gold chains and a bracelet. The first two buttons of his shirt are unbuttoned, "to be kool" as he says. His trouser too is a colour equally outrageous, but he's got to "disguise" himself right? He cannot be giving interviews to people like Chickie who'd lunge at anyone with a pen and a mob to back her! For the privilege of his words, BP expects some positive coverage when its time for the polls...
"Yeh duniya, yeh duniya badi gol hai! Hai isme kitney jhol!" the music blares from loudspeakers and a few busty bar girls croon to the music. Those who're here for the music and the women enjoy themselves, those who're here for privacy keep their distance from the overcrowded center and seek refuge in the shadows of the dark...
BP: Arrey madamjee, zara quietly, quietly please! People here know me, some of my party members may be around. If they see me with you, i'm as good as a bakra on Bakri Eid! You're wellcome, wellcome madamjee, as long as you keep up your word! It's all a matter of "len-den" madamjee, give and take. I give you some spicy news fresh from the corridors of power, and you provide me the power to reach those corridors! I hope we understand each other, don't we? For now you can call me BP!
Chickie: Of course we do BP, don't you worry. It'll all be done! So, shall we get started sir? It all begins with the Lokpal Bill, Anna Hazare and the recent attacks of terror in Bombay. Are these all individual events or do they come together somewhere someway...?
BP: (Laughs) Madam, i don't understand what you're saying! How can these lafdas have something in common? Tauba tauba, such bad days upon us! God forbid such a thing should ever happen!
Chickie orders for a beer for herself and a Jim Bream sour mash whiskey for BP. "Oonchey log, oonchi pasand!" BP reiterates the famous "Manikchand" ad's catchline. BP calls for some snacks and a roast chicken.
BP: Chickie madamjee, please have your beer with the chicken. It'll taste all the better! The meat only enhances the flavour of the drink.
Chickie: Coming to our topic for today sir, what was your reaction when the Lokpal Bill protest and Anna Hazare's movement started?
BP: Dekhiye, you see, after nearly a lifetime of experience in the political scene in India, nothing really shocks me. I am one of the veterans and yet i agree to the fact there are people in the beaureau who're far more experienced than i am. The only incident in the entire history of post independence politics in India which had shockwaves running through the country was the declaration of a state of Emergency.
Indeed, people, aam junta, politicians, journalists, the army, name it and you'll find a mention were waiting to
see the drama unfold. I was a mere footsoldier then. Indira Gandhi, aka Mother India had the nation by its balls in her hands. "India is Indira, Indira is India" were some of the slogans we used to shout!
Chickie, you tell me something. At the end of the day what would you want to take home? Please answer my quaestion (sic question) honestly...
Chickie: Me? What about me? I'm not somebody with great ambition or interest in jamaaoing (aka gathering) wealth!
I'm not keen on making money for myself or my family. I'm a single woman with little creature wants that my salary can afford to pamper!
BP: Exactly! You say creature wants, i say basic essentials! Schooling for Hetal and Hiten, my children, some money for my wife's needs, some money for my creature wants (winks at Chickie, although the wink only further accentuates his piglike appearance!) and some money for the future. I want a stadey* source of income. I'm a "grihastha", a householder, can i afford to lounge around for three square meals a day? Don't i have responsibilities to fulfil?
(Drinks deeply from his peg of whiskey, lets in the alcohol sink in. Belches in contentment...)
(Chickie too sips at her beer and munches on the snacks while BP tucks into a leg of chicken. A devout Gujarati at home, his idea of vegan food apparently goes for a toss when he's drinking, or so they say...)
BP: Madamjee, do you know what happened when the Emergency was called off? There was mass revolution in the country. Lots of mens, young and old had been jailed, including our noble Jaiprakash Narayan, JP saab you know na? Indira was finally doomed, or so it seemed...
I'd approached Indiraji when she was in jail, told her i wanted to become something better than a party member, something better than the ordinary member who pays an annual fee, reads the party circulars and goes around doing odd jobs. Tell me what should i do. Indiraji told me, "Mujhe yahaan see bahar nikaal, aagey ka main dekh loongi!" You get me out of here, and i'll see to the rest that needs to be done. That's all that i needed.
Immediately, i gathered a few laundas around Allahabad. Laundas and lafangas, good for nothings and a few thugs. We soon ran amock in the city attacking shops, cars, buses and everything and anything that appeared before us. I'd specially prepared a petrol bomb (read Molotov cocktail) and we burst a few around the city's streets and plazas, calling for Indiraji's release from custody. Then what? After that, there was no looking back, i was made a Special Executive Officer, following which i was able to become a MLA, and now, i'm a MP! (laughs and takes another deep draught from his now refilled glass)
Chickie: You mean to say you were offered all that you got because of goondagiri?
BP: Arrey arrey madamjee, please don't use that Bombay lingo and call me a goonda! Su hun tamey goonda lagu chu? Do i look like a goonda to you? How can you then call me such things? I'm offended, and am forced to demand a "sorry" from you!
Chickie: Sorry BP jee, i didn't mean to call you a goonda, but what you did in Allahabad back in '79 wasn't exactly legal, was it?
BP: Madamjee, as long as it secured the result, i don't care a damn whether the action was right or wrong. I wanted Indiraji out from prison, and i did what i had to do. Simple! The first rule of politics, do what your Godmother or Godfather tells you, without asking questions. Full stop!
(Now thoroughly enjoying the conversation, Chickie directly takes a swig from her bottle of Cobra beer, BP's recommendation for the best beer in the state)
Chickie: Accha, so you did what you had to do, without asking any questions, good good, very good! A very honest and hard working man you seem to be...
BP: Of course, of course, i'm a dedicated social worker and an even more dedicated servant to my leader. My party leaders know and understand what this nation needs, and how to give what it needs the most. Congress party ni jai!
Chickie: BP, we've come a long way now and have been talking for over half an hour, yet you're nowhere close to telling me what i want to know. You're not being a good social servant BP jee, you've cheated me...
(BP is taken aback by this statement from Chickie, tries to console her) Chickiejee, i mean Chickie, what is it that you want to know. Tell me and i'll tell you the truth, mother promise!
Chickie: Accha? Then tell me what happened when Anna Hazare threatened the Parliament with the Lokpal anti-corruption bill? Why was there so much confusion and turbulence?
BP: (Sighs) You women eventually get what you want, no matter how hard it may be. If i tell you this, and you publish it openly under my name, i'll be dead. Literally. My family alongwith me will die. Sarkaar ke haath badey lambey hotey hain, the government has a great reach! But i'll tell you the truth, because...
Because, you've been a good friend to me Chickie...
Initially, we expected this Anna to be like just another RTI query, something our legal eagles could simply wind up and lock up in some cupboard someplace. But he began playing the game the way we do, he began gathering momentum from the public.
The hunger strike, and the media constantly barking on TV and radio, was too much for us. I'm not saying we've gathered money by "other" means, but this meant the party's treasury would come under the scanner as well. I'm a good, honest and God fearing MP, but there are others in the party who're not so good you know...
They have earned hundreds of crores, by ways and means you'd better not ask. They have money pouring out of their ears. Why do you think they keep making trips to Switzerland so frequently? Only to visit their vaults and deposit some money there. The money's not sent directly in one package, but in different packets with some party members, some relative or someone like that who'll deposit the money there. If the money goes as one big "matka", a pot, we're doomed...
Woh sab baad ki baat, coming to our topic, Anna threatened the unity of the nation. If our party fell now, we could never rise up ever again. Even the opposition agreed on this. We could not let this man threaten our delicate stance in the nation. And to make things worse, that gando, that madman Ramdev also began fasting and wanted us to declare our assets publicly. Anna Hazare is one thing, but this fraud Baba was quite another!
Fortunately, we had some boys who were good with their maths. They soon uncovered the Baba's significant holdings in business and the 83 companies that were managed under his name. Niklaa ki nahin, chor ki daadhi mein tinka? (laughs) After all, didn't we sniff out the unaccounted wealth he too was concealing? We're good with our maths!
The arrest and subsequent breaking of the fast of that Baba was a minor victory for us. Yes, but the major reason behind the terror was yet to go down. But we could not "put down" an old man who threatened us with a hunger
strike, could we? I too have an old father, and no matter what the lafangas in the party's bottom ranks or the coalition members asked for, i wouldn't allow the arrest of the Anna. There'd be rivers of blood then, rivers literally. (Drinks again and tucks into some chicken, now gone cold)
Chickie: Go on BP, tell me something more. Surely there's more to it than meets the eye. Right? (winks at BP and orders for some more beer)
BP: Chickie, i've told you a lot now, i expect you to canvass me during the elections. Do remember that you owe me this favour chokri, because i'm not going to be forgetting this...
Chickie: Of course BP, of course! I won't fail you when the time comes! But tell me something further, the story's only becoming interesting now. The masala's in this part (smiles and indulges in chilled beer)
BP: Where were we? Ah yes, Ramdev was arrested, our coalition partner's party was maligned in the recent telephone network scam. Overall, we needed something to win back the people's hearts, or atleast some diversion from this everyday highlight and telecast of corruption. And then, the terrorists struck in Mumbai. Our Mumbai, maari Mumbai ma, in my Mumbai. Darned cowards!
Chickie: Were these people really terrorists BP? Or some thugs paid to plant explosives in the marketplace?
BP: Do you mean to say we planted the bombs? Su vaat karey chhey chokri? What are you saying? Do you have any sense in you? (gets really angry and smashes the glass on the floor, orders for a quarter of whiskey)
Chickie: (Visibly shaken and frightened) I didn't mean to say you or your party were involved in the bombing. I'm just wondering whether they could've been done by some of our own people for a diversion from the mainstream events.
BP: I don't know about this, but i heard whispers in the assembly of some people talking of some little known jehadi faction, i don't even know the name. Ketlo terrorist factions chhey ney? How different are they from one another?
Some people in the assembly were talking of this party a week before the blasts, and i heard them mention Mumbai. I thought maybe the police have discovered a new sleeper cell in Mumbai. And then, the blasts happened. Ram Ram, they exploded bombs in Zaveri Bazaar and Opera House. Many of my fellow Gujaratis died there. I'm saddened...
Chickie: Could it be that this incident could have been known in advance to some members in the assembly?
BP: I cannot commit anything concrete, but it seems there could be a possibility that some people knew this to be coming, over even planned it. I'll never stoop down to kill our brethren Gujaratis. I'd throw a few in Madanpura or Null Bazaar or someplace where "those" people live. These people harbour the terrorists, eat our gai maata, and call gaalis upon India, and love Pakistan! I'd throw more than a few bombs there if i could. Many of our Gujarati bhais and bens died due to their atrocities across the country. All Hindus must rise and fight them!
Chickie: But you'll promise them political representations in the Parliament and reforms, and now you talk of killing them?
BP: Hun pan su karu? What can i do? Elections are a time when numbers talk, the bigger the better. You need to pan dirt and crap to get to gold, right?
Chickie: Hmm, that is true. Politics is but a gutter, but full of riches provided you know where to clean and pan, right?
BP: Ekdum perfect Chickie, absolutely perfect (laughs hard and almost falls off the table but is helped up before he does)
Stone drunk BP and a more than slightly buzzing Chickie are having a good time. Conversation and liquor are freely flowing. And the night too is drawing its darker shade of black now...
BP: It certainly must have been someone from the assembly, one of those coalition waala chors! They came in for the loot but promised us much needed support. They must've allied with those terrorists and organized the explosions.
God knows what they've done! They must have, they must have, they must....(drools and dribbles and falls asleep on the table. The chicken's still waiting to be attended to!)
Chickie: BP jee, BP jee, get up, we need to move on now. I too must go home, and your missus must be waiting for you at home...
BP: Huh, Kavita? Kavita? Yes yes, Kavita, Hiten and Hetal must be waiting for me. We must move on now.
Chickie: Thank you for today evening's conversation. I loved every bit of it, be it the beer or you shooting straight from the hip!
BP: It's okay Chickie, i may have told you many secret truths and open lies, but i'm a bania, a trader. I want my share of the meat when the time comes, and you know my price right?
Chickie: You have my word BP, you have my word...
BP gets into his car and so does Chickie. Chickie gets off at Daryaganj and the car speeds off toward Karol Bagh into the darkness...
Note: None of the characters in this "interview" are real nor bear semblance to anyone. If you find this offensive, please stop reading, and do send me some hate mails. Assassins would be equally entertaining, but please do send a return address so i can return the favour!
18th July '11, New Delhi:
Our correspondent Chiquita Perez aka Chickie, a former correspondent for a leading news daily, presently a
freelance scribe blogs as a non-entity on popular blogs and tries to expose corruption and treachery rife in Indian politics. Today, Chickie's interviewing a popular member of the Parliament a day after the bomb blasts in Mumbai, and the Lokpal Bill threat looming around the corner. Chickie's meeting Mr.Babubhai, a somebody from someplace who's a part of the ruling party in the country, or atleast claims to be ruling...
Babubhai Kantibhai Chimanlal Patel also known as BP within the party circles, also called "Big Pig" of course behind his back! BP has been a part of the Indian political scenario ever since the fall of monotheistic ruling party culture, and the ascent of coalition ruling. BP has been the CM of Maharashtra and has critical acclaim for development of the island city of Bombay, specially development of housing for the lower income segments. BP has agreed to give this interview, under the condition of anoynymity. This conversation has been recorded "off the fucking record"!
This interview is conducted in a seedy bar near Chandni Chowk
Chickie: Mr.Patel, it's an absolute pleasure to have you with me across the table, engaging in free conversation with me! BP's dressed to appear incognito, read a gaudy pink shirt stretching over an ample hemisphere that's his tummy, wearing heavy gold chains and a bracelet. The first two buttons of his shirt are unbuttoned, "to be kool" as he says. His trouser too is a colour equally outrageous, but he's got to "disguise" himself right? He cannot be giving interviews to people like Chickie who'd lunge at anyone with a pen and a mob to back her! For the privilege of his words, BP expects some positive coverage when its time for the polls...
"Yeh duniya, yeh duniya badi gol hai! Hai isme kitney jhol!" the music blares from loudspeakers and a few busty bar girls croon to the music. Those who're here for the music and the women enjoy themselves, those who're here for privacy keep their distance from the overcrowded center and seek refuge in the shadows of the dark...
BP: Arrey madamjee, zara quietly, quietly please! People here know me, some of my party members may be around. If they see me with you, i'm as good as a bakra on Bakri Eid! You're wellcome, wellcome madamjee, as long as you keep up your word! It's all a matter of "len-den" madamjee, give and take. I give you some spicy news fresh from the corridors of power, and you provide me the power to reach those corridors! I hope we understand each other, don't we? For now you can call me BP!
Chickie: Of course we do BP, don't you worry. It'll all be done! So, shall we get started sir? It all begins with the Lokpal Bill, Anna Hazare and the recent attacks of terror in Bombay. Are these all individual events or do they come together somewhere someway...?
BP: (Laughs) Madam, i don't understand what you're saying! How can these lafdas have something in common? Tauba tauba, such bad days upon us! God forbid such a thing should ever happen!
Chickie orders for a beer for herself and a Jim Bream sour mash whiskey for BP. "Oonchey log, oonchi pasand!" BP reiterates the famous "Manikchand" ad's catchline. BP calls for some snacks and a roast chicken.
BP: Chickie madamjee, please have your beer with the chicken. It'll taste all the better! The meat only enhances the flavour of the drink.
Chickie: Coming to our topic for today sir, what was your reaction when the Lokpal Bill protest and Anna Hazare's movement started?
BP: Dekhiye, you see, after nearly a lifetime of experience in the political scene in India, nothing really shocks me. I am one of the veterans and yet i agree to the fact there are people in the beaureau who're far more experienced than i am. The only incident in the entire history of post independence politics in India which had shockwaves running through the country was the declaration of a state of Emergency.
Indeed, people, aam junta, politicians, journalists, the army, name it and you'll find a mention were waiting to
see the drama unfold. I was a mere footsoldier then. Indira Gandhi, aka Mother India had the nation by its balls in her hands. "India is Indira, Indira is India" were some of the slogans we used to shout!
Chickie, you tell me something. At the end of the day what would you want to take home? Please answer my quaestion (sic question) honestly...
Chickie: Me? What about me? I'm not somebody with great ambition or interest in jamaaoing (aka gathering) wealth!
I'm not keen on making money for myself or my family. I'm a single woman with little creature wants that my salary can afford to pamper!
BP: Exactly! You say creature wants, i say basic essentials! Schooling for Hetal and Hiten, my children, some money for my wife's needs, some money for my creature wants (winks at Chickie, although the wink only further accentuates his piglike appearance!) and some money for the future. I want a stadey* source of income. I'm a "grihastha", a householder, can i afford to lounge around for three square meals a day? Don't i have responsibilities to fulfil?
(Drinks deeply from his peg of whiskey, lets in the alcohol sink in. Belches in contentment...)
(Chickie too sips at her beer and munches on the snacks while BP tucks into a leg of chicken. A devout Gujarati at home, his idea of vegan food apparently goes for a toss when he's drinking, or so they say...)
BP: Madamjee, do you know what happened when the Emergency was called off? There was mass revolution in the country. Lots of mens, young and old had been jailed, including our noble Jaiprakash Narayan, JP saab you know na? Indira was finally doomed, or so it seemed...
I'd approached Indiraji when she was in jail, told her i wanted to become something better than a party member, something better than the ordinary member who pays an annual fee, reads the party circulars and goes around doing odd jobs. Tell me what should i do. Indiraji told me, "Mujhe yahaan see bahar nikaal, aagey ka main dekh loongi!" You get me out of here, and i'll see to the rest that needs to be done. That's all that i needed.
Immediately, i gathered a few laundas around Allahabad. Laundas and lafangas, good for nothings and a few thugs. We soon ran amock in the city attacking shops, cars, buses and everything and anything that appeared before us. I'd specially prepared a petrol bomb (read Molotov cocktail) and we burst a few around the city's streets and plazas, calling for Indiraji's release from custody. Then what? After that, there was no looking back, i was made a Special Executive Officer, following which i was able to become a MLA, and now, i'm a MP! (laughs and takes another deep draught from his now refilled glass)
Chickie: You mean to say you were offered all that you got because of goondagiri?
BP: Arrey arrey madamjee, please don't use that Bombay lingo and call me a goonda! Su hun tamey goonda lagu chu? Do i look like a goonda to you? How can you then call me such things? I'm offended, and am forced to demand a "sorry" from you!
Chickie: Sorry BP jee, i didn't mean to call you a goonda, but what you did in Allahabad back in '79 wasn't exactly legal, was it?
BP: Madamjee, as long as it secured the result, i don't care a damn whether the action was right or wrong. I wanted Indiraji out from prison, and i did what i had to do. Simple! The first rule of politics, do what your Godmother or Godfather tells you, without asking questions. Full stop!
(Now thoroughly enjoying the conversation, Chickie directly takes a swig from her bottle of Cobra beer, BP's recommendation for the best beer in the state)
Chickie: Accha, so you did what you had to do, without asking any questions, good good, very good! A very honest and hard working man you seem to be...
BP: Of course, of course, i'm a dedicated social worker and an even more dedicated servant to my leader. My party leaders know and understand what this nation needs, and how to give what it needs the most. Congress party ni jai!
Chickie: BP, we've come a long way now and have been talking for over half an hour, yet you're nowhere close to telling me what i want to know. You're not being a good social servant BP jee, you've cheated me...
(BP is taken aback by this statement from Chickie, tries to console her) Chickiejee, i mean Chickie, what is it that you want to know. Tell me and i'll tell you the truth, mother promise!
Chickie: Accha? Then tell me what happened when Anna Hazare threatened the Parliament with the Lokpal anti-corruption bill? Why was there so much confusion and turbulence?
BP: (Sighs) You women eventually get what you want, no matter how hard it may be. If i tell you this, and you publish it openly under my name, i'll be dead. Literally. My family alongwith me will die. Sarkaar ke haath badey lambey hotey hain, the government has a great reach! But i'll tell you the truth, because...
Because, you've been a good friend to me Chickie...
Initially, we expected this Anna to be like just another RTI query, something our legal eagles could simply wind up and lock up in some cupboard someplace. But he began playing the game the way we do, he began gathering momentum from the public.
The hunger strike, and the media constantly barking on TV and radio, was too much for us. I'm not saying we've gathered money by "other" means, but this meant the party's treasury would come under the scanner as well. I'm a good, honest and God fearing MP, but there are others in the party who're not so good you know...
They have earned hundreds of crores, by ways and means you'd better not ask. They have money pouring out of their ears. Why do you think they keep making trips to Switzerland so frequently? Only to visit their vaults and deposit some money there. The money's not sent directly in one package, but in different packets with some party members, some relative or someone like that who'll deposit the money there. If the money goes as one big "matka", a pot, we're doomed...
Woh sab baad ki baat, coming to our topic, Anna threatened the unity of the nation. If our party fell now, we could never rise up ever again. Even the opposition agreed on this. We could not let this man threaten our delicate stance in the nation. And to make things worse, that gando, that madman Ramdev also began fasting and wanted us to declare our assets publicly. Anna Hazare is one thing, but this fraud Baba was quite another!
Fortunately, we had some boys who were good with their maths. They soon uncovered the Baba's significant holdings in business and the 83 companies that were managed under his name. Niklaa ki nahin, chor ki daadhi mein tinka? (laughs) After all, didn't we sniff out the unaccounted wealth he too was concealing? We're good with our maths!
The arrest and subsequent breaking of the fast of that Baba was a minor victory for us. Yes, but the major reason behind the terror was yet to go down. But we could not "put down" an old man who threatened us with a hunger
strike, could we? I too have an old father, and no matter what the lafangas in the party's bottom ranks or the coalition members asked for, i wouldn't allow the arrest of the Anna. There'd be rivers of blood then, rivers literally. (Drinks again and tucks into some chicken, now gone cold)
Chickie: Go on BP, tell me something more. Surely there's more to it than meets the eye. Right? (winks at BP and orders for some more beer)
BP: Chickie, i've told you a lot now, i expect you to canvass me during the elections. Do remember that you owe me this favour chokri, because i'm not going to be forgetting this...
Chickie: Of course BP, of course! I won't fail you when the time comes! But tell me something further, the story's only becoming interesting now. The masala's in this part (smiles and indulges in chilled beer)
BP: Where were we? Ah yes, Ramdev was arrested, our coalition partner's party was maligned in the recent telephone network scam. Overall, we needed something to win back the people's hearts, or atleast some diversion from this everyday highlight and telecast of corruption. And then, the terrorists struck in Mumbai. Our Mumbai, maari Mumbai ma, in my Mumbai. Darned cowards!
Chickie: Were these people really terrorists BP? Or some thugs paid to plant explosives in the marketplace?
BP: Do you mean to say we planted the bombs? Su vaat karey chhey chokri? What are you saying? Do you have any sense in you? (gets really angry and smashes the glass on the floor, orders for a quarter of whiskey)
Chickie: (Visibly shaken and frightened) I didn't mean to say you or your party were involved in the bombing. I'm just wondering whether they could've been done by some of our own people for a diversion from the mainstream events.
BP: I don't know about this, but i heard whispers in the assembly of some people talking of some little known jehadi faction, i don't even know the name. Ketlo terrorist factions chhey ney? How different are they from one another?
Some people in the assembly were talking of this party a week before the blasts, and i heard them mention Mumbai. I thought maybe the police have discovered a new sleeper cell in Mumbai. And then, the blasts happened. Ram Ram, they exploded bombs in Zaveri Bazaar and Opera House. Many of my fellow Gujaratis died there. I'm saddened...
Chickie: Could it be that this incident could have been known in advance to some members in the assembly?
BP: I cannot commit anything concrete, but it seems there could be a possibility that some people knew this to be coming, over even planned it. I'll never stoop down to kill our brethren Gujaratis. I'd throw a few in Madanpura or Null Bazaar or someplace where "those" people live. These people harbour the terrorists, eat our gai maata, and call gaalis upon India, and love Pakistan! I'd throw more than a few bombs there if i could. Many of our Gujarati bhais and bens died due to their atrocities across the country. All Hindus must rise and fight them!
Chickie: But you'll promise them political representations in the Parliament and reforms, and now you talk of killing them?
BP: Hun pan su karu? What can i do? Elections are a time when numbers talk, the bigger the better. You need to pan dirt and crap to get to gold, right?
Chickie: Hmm, that is true. Politics is but a gutter, but full of riches provided you know where to clean and pan, right?
BP: Ekdum perfect Chickie, absolutely perfect (laughs hard and almost falls off the table but is helped up before he does)
Stone drunk BP and a more than slightly buzzing Chickie are having a good time. Conversation and liquor are freely flowing. And the night too is drawing its darker shade of black now...
BP: It certainly must have been someone from the assembly, one of those coalition waala chors! They came in for the loot but promised us much needed support. They must've allied with those terrorists and organized the explosions.
God knows what they've done! They must have, they must have, they must....(drools and dribbles and falls asleep on the table. The chicken's still waiting to be attended to!)
Chickie: BP jee, BP jee, get up, we need to move on now. I too must go home, and your missus must be waiting for you at home...
BP: Huh, Kavita? Kavita? Yes yes, Kavita, Hiten and Hetal must be waiting for me. We must move on now.
Chickie: Thank you for today evening's conversation. I loved every bit of it, be it the beer or you shooting straight from the hip!
BP: It's okay Chickie, i may have told you many secret truths and open lies, but i'm a bania, a trader. I want my share of the meat when the time comes, and you know my price right?
Chickie: You have my word BP, you have my word...
BP gets into his car and so does Chickie. Chickie gets off at Daryaganj and the car speeds off toward Karol Bagh into the darkness...
