The needle stung slightly as it made way into Shankar's flesh and released the heroin into his blood. Vision began to blur and his speech was incoherent. In a few moments, he was back in his world of dreams, except that he was dreaming with his soul-less eyes open!
Shalu had cried for a week and she was just fine and normal, or atleast she appeared to be normal to the eye. Shankar was a different league though; he took his emotions just as he did his logical thoughts, in utmost gravity and reality. He'd never been a guy who could be called a skirt chaser, and he never socialized too much. He spoke only when spoken to, and mixed with few people. Deadly combination if you ask me to kill a man whilst he lives. Isolate him from his beloved, estrange him from his parents, and let there be no friend who can offer help. Ah yes, you could kill him one day at a time, until he begged for death as a relief. It was the vilest thing that Fate could pull upon him, but then we all have our duties. Fate, Death and i stood watch as Shankar sank into the depths of depression and depravity.
It all started with cigarettes, and alcohol, but they could only dim his senses and not his memories of beloved Shalu. Every moment, every moment of his waking time, he could see none but Shalu around him. He avoided the Marine Drive although his office was closeby and preferred the inroads, but every street had some form of memory or the other, and he could see himself and Shalu together in more peaceful and loving times. God, this was terrible i tell you to watch him and do nothing.
He then went on to drinking spirits and smoked copious amounts of weed. That did the trick for a while, but before long, he was immune to the effects of them both. And getting them was expensive! And then a fellow drinker told him about "heroin" and where to find it.
It was a dark day when Shankar traced his steps leading into the dark alleys of Dr.Foras Street No.6, a place where you could find Chandu, his women, and heroin...
"Ladki chahiye? Kitney saal ki? Apney paas college wali item bhi hai, bol kaunsi chahiye" the guy at the door asked Shankar. "Heroin dega...?" were the words from Shankar's alcohol reeking mouth and that shut up the doorman who quickly whisked him inside into a kholi.
He administered Shankar's first shot, and Shankar couldn't quite control himself from thrashing about as his muscles twitched and twisted trying to adjust to the narcotic's effects. And then, he could see Shalu, not walking away from him but running toward him, tears of joy streaming along her dusky cheeks. Shankar too couldn't hold himself back from her and ran harder to cover up the distance, and met her or rather smacked right into her, his arms wrapping themselves around her, and they both were one...
This fever dream lasted for 2 days the first time Shankar had it. Savitabai and her husband weren't greatly disturbed as Shankar said he's at a friend's place for a while. As long as he was away from Shalu, they were just fine with anything else. Of course, assuming that he was clean and healthy and not a heroin junkie!
Everytime he woke up covered in sweat and his heart pumping so hard, there could've been a heart attack. But who wanted to live so long...?
"Let me end his misery Boss. He's in abject pain, let me deliver him!" Death said in a baleful tone as was his nature. He'd been there just as long as i was, and had a history of countless souls in his list of people and creatures he'd slain. Aye, that was his duty. And this was the worst part of his job, waiting for his victim's "right time" to die. Boss, you may call him God, but we called him Boss, called the shots, oversaw who was to live who was to die, what happened, when did it happen and other managerial activities for the mortal world, not just Earth but all other places beyond human imagination...
"His time has not come yet, this is his trial by fire. If he survives this, he'll be worthy of a place beside me in Paradise. It's just that he has to forget his mortal pain and think of me" was Boss's reply. Boss always had a way with words, and Death fell silent.
"How will it happen? He's content to remain a junkie, and would die one. Atleast that's how things look like at the moment!" was my question!
"What the fuck is my role here then Time? Am i not his Creator, his Preserver, his Destroyer? I'll bring him out from the bowels of Hell where Shaitan now holds him prisoner!" Boss was angry with me. It was a stupid question because Boss had a plan for everything and everyone...
As we rambled off and on in Pearly Gates, it was nearing three weeks now for Shankar since he'd hooked on to heroin. He barely managed to work in the morning, and was listless even when the boss fired him from his job for being negligent in his work. His job as a peon at an office in Nariman Pt never earned him too much, and he was more than happy to quit. More time for dreaming, more time with Shalu...
That day he actually ran with great joy, even as the day was yet to set to the Chandni beauty parlour, Chandu's brothel and drug hovel. By now his daily intake of heroin was enough to merit him the "Choice Customer" title and Chandu's attention. A girl now kept watch and ensure Shankar took the shots in right. And also clean him up if he retched. He was bleeding his money into into their business, his final days on earth had to be taken care of...
Shankar couldn't care as long as he had Shalu, atleast in his dreams. One day, Chandu himself paid Shankar a visit, just as the fever dream was coming to an end. You could tell Shankar was coming out, it was pretty easy! The irises show signs of activity and the body began sweating. On the other side, Shankar could hear voices and see faintly, as if in an illusion...
"What's with you, li'l fuck? Why're you killing yourself like this?" Chandu snapped at Shankar. "I've seen junkies and i've seen hoodlums, and i've seen them die, some delivered by my own hand. But you're not one of them, you're something different..."
Shankar could hear him, but Chandu's voice seemed to be coming from the heavens. It painted a picture pretty absurd! Two lovers lost in embrace and a hoodlum's voice echoed from the skies above!!
Shankar couldn't care to reply. Chandu waited to see him come out any moment now. And then the fever dream ended, just as Shankar woke up with a start, sweaty and disoriented!
"Who're you? Are you here to give me my fix? Where's that girl who's here normally? Tie me up and shoot me in the left arm. The right arm's pretty useless for finding a vein now. Come on, hurry up!"
Chandu only laughed, and that made Shankar livid! Coming out of heroin even for a moment was cold turkey, and that meant all the memories he'd held back, came back with a rush! And that wasn't something Shankar paid money for!
"It's okay kid, you can call me your attendant. I own this hovel, just as much as i own your attendant, and your miserable little life, just waiting to die. I'm Chandu and i'm here to clean you out from this mess you've created!"
At this remark, Shankar only half opened his eyes to look at a shadowy figure who looked like a hoodlum only to slip back into his state of nothingness...
Shalu had cried for a week and she was just fine and normal, or atleast she appeared to be normal to the eye. Shankar was a different league though; he took his emotions just as he did his logical thoughts, in utmost gravity and reality. He'd never been a guy who could be called a skirt chaser, and he never socialized too much. He spoke only when spoken to, and mixed with few people. Deadly combination if you ask me to kill a man whilst he lives. Isolate him from his beloved, estrange him from his parents, and let there be no friend who can offer help. Ah yes, you could kill him one day at a time, until he begged for death as a relief. It was the vilest thing that Fate could pull upon him, but then we all have our duties. Fate, Death and i stood watch as Shankar sank into the depths of depression and depravity.
It all started with cigarettes, and alcohol, but they could only dim his senses and not his memories of beloved Shalu. Every moment, every moment of his waking time, he could see none but Shalu around him. He avoided the Marine Drive although his office was closeby and preferred the inroads, but every street had some form of memory or the other, and he could see himself and Shalu together in more peaceful and loving times. God, this was terrible i tell you to watch him and do nothing.
He then went on to drinking spirits and smoked copious amounts of weed. That did the trick for a while, but before long, he was immune to the effects of them both. And getting them was expensive! And then a fellow drinker told him about "heroin" and where to find it.
It was a dark day when Shankar traced his steps leading into the dark alleys of Dr.Foras Street No.6, a place where you could find Chandu, his women, and heroin...
"Ladki chahiye? Kitney saal ki? Apney paas college wali item bhi hai, bol kaunsi chahiye" the guy at the door asked Shankar. "Heroin dega...?" were the words from Shankar's alcohol reeking mouth and that shut up the doorman who quickly whisked him inside into a kholi.
He administered Shankar's first shot, and Shankar couldn't quite control himself from thrashing about as his muscles twitched and twisted trying to adjust to the narcotic's effects. And then, he could see Shalu, not walking away from him but running toward him, tears of joy streaming along her dusky cheeks. Shankar too couldn't hold himself back from her and ran harder to cover up the distance, and met her or rather smacked right into her, his arms wrapping themselves around her, and they both were one...
This fever dream lasted for 2 days the first time Shankar had it. Savitabai and her husband weren't greatly disturbed as Shankar said he's at a friend's place for a while. As long as he was away from Shalu, they were just fine with anything else. Of course, assuming that he was clean and healthy and not a heroin junkie!
Everytime he woke up covered in sweat and his heart pumping so hard, there could've been a heart attack. But who wanted to live so long...?
"Let me end his misery Boss. He's in abject pain, let me deliver him!" Death said in a baleful tone as was his nature. He'd been there just as long as i was, and had a history of countless souls in his list of people and creatures he'd slain. Aye, that was his duty. And this was the worst part of his job, waiting for his victim's "right time" to die. Boss, you may call him God, but we called him Boss, called the shots, oversaw who was to live who was to die, what happened, when did it happen and other managerial activities for the mortal world, not just Earth but all other places beyond human imagination...
"His time has not come yet, this is his trial by fire. If he survives this, he'll be worthy of a place beside me in Paradise. It's just that he has to forget his mortal pain and think of me" was Boss's reply. Boss always had a way with words, and Death fell silent.
"How will it happen? He's content to remain a junkie, and would die one. Atleast that's how things look like at the moment!" was my question!
"What the fuck is my role here then Time? Am i not his Creator, his Preserver, his Destroyer? I'll bring him out from the bowels of Hell where Shaitan now holds him prisoner!" Boss was angry with me. It was a stupid question because Boss had a plan for everything and everyone...
As we rambled off and on in Pearly Gates, it was nearing three weeks now for Shankar since he'd hooked on to heroin. He barely managed to work in the morning, and was listless even when the boss fired him from his job for being negligent in his work. His job as a peon at an office in Nariman Pt never earned him too much, and he was more than happy to quit. More time for dreaming, more time with Shalu...
That day he actually ran with great joy, even as the day was yet to set to the Chandni beauty parlour, Chandu's brothel and drug hovel. By now his daily intake of heroin was enough to merit him the "Choice Customer" title and Chandu's attention. A girl now kept watch and ensure Shankar took the shots in right. And also clean him up if he retched. He was bleeding his money into into their business, his final days on earth had to be taken care of...
Shankar couldn't care as long as he had Shalu, atleast in his dreams. One day, Chandu himself paid Shankar a visit, just as the fever dream was coming to an end. You could tell Shankar was coming out, it was pretty easy! The irises show signs of activity and the body began sweating. On the other side, Shankar could hear voices and see faintly, as if in an illusion...
"What's with you, li'l fuck? Why're you killing yourself like this?" Chandu snapped at Shankar. "I've seen junkies and i've seen hoodlums, and i've seen them die, some delivered by my own hand. But you're not one of them, you're something different..."
Shankar could hear him, but Chandu's voice seemed to be coming from the heavens. It painted a picture pretty absurd! Two lovers lost in embrace and a hoodlum's voice echoed from the skies above!!
Shankar couldn't care to reply. Chandu waited to see him come out any moment now. And then the fever dream ended, just as Shankar woke up with a start, sweaty and disoriented!
"Who're you? Are you here to give me my fix? Where's that girl who's here normally? Tie me up and shoot me in the left arm. The right arm's pretty useless for finding a vein now. Come on, hurry up!"
Chandu only laughed, and that made Shankar livid! Coming out of heroin even for a moment was cold turkey, and that meant all the memories he'd held back, came back with a rush! And that wasn't something Shankar paid money for!
"It's okay kid, you can call me your attendant. I own this hovel, just as much as i own your attendant, and your miserable little life, just waiting to die. I'm Chandu and i'm here to clean you out from this mess you've created!"
At this remark, Shankar only half opened his eyes to look at a shadowy figure who looked like a hoodlum only to slip back into his state of nothingness...
No comments:
Post a Comment